ultrafacts:

shitfacedanon:

arachnofiend:

footworkdruid:

ultrafacts:

Source For more posts like this, follow the Ultrafacts Blog!

i really like this ultrafact because the setup implies something funny or unexpected is going to happen, but not only is the ‘punchline’ actually just standard torturous murder but the lack of punctuation adds a bizarre, text-post quality to the tone. syntactically speaking this ultrafact is a piece of accidental genius

The Mongol Empire was the safest place in the world as long as you didn’t backstab the Mongols.

To add to this, he actually sent two. The first was to sorta present a message of peace telling the leader in essence “We’re both great leaders of great empires and equals in stature.” and after the fucker killed the first caravan he sent another to figure out what the hell happened because maybe the fucker didn’t know who he was.
Then he invaded and utterly erased the empire off the face of the earth 

Did you guys know that Genghis Khan even went so far as to divert a river through the Khwarezmid emperor’s birthplace, erasing it from the map? This was how mad the emperor made Genghis feel. (Source)

ultrafacts:

shitfacedanon:

arachnofiend:

footworkdruid:

ultrafacts:

Source For more posts like this, follow the Ultrafacts Blog!

i really like this ultrafact because the setup implies something funny or unexpected is going to happen, but not only is the ‘punchline’ actually just standard torturous murder but the lack of punctuation adds a bizarre, text-post quality to the tone. syntactically speaking this ultrafact is a piece of accidental genius

The Mongol Empire was the safest place in the world as long as you didn’t backstab the Mongols.

To add to this, he actually sent two. The first was to sorta present a message of peace telling the leader in essence “We’re both great leaders of great empires and equals in stature.” and after the fucker killed the first caravan he sent another to figure out what the hell happened because maybe the fucker didn’t know who he was.

Then he invaded and utterly erased the empire off the face of the earth 

Did you guys know that Genghis Khan even went so far as to divert a river through the Khwarezmid emperor’s birthplace, erasing it from the map? This was how mad the emperor made Genghis feel. (Source)

(via tumblrisweird)

allisonilene:

sadhailey:

HANDS DOWN THE BEST SCENE OF ANY TV SHOW EVER

YES

allisonilene:

sadhailey:

HANDS DOWN THE BEST SCENE OF ANY TV SHOW EVER

YES

(Source: raduyev, via tall-girlproblems)

Mexican authorities probe Miley Cyrus show over ‘flag-whipping’ incident | Showbiz | Mobile | The Malay Mail Online

anonymoops:

stonecoldstevebuscemi:

In case you haven’t heard of it yet, Miley Cyrus, during her concert last night (Sep 16) at Monterrey, NL, Mexico, caused controversy when she started doing ‘her’ infamous ‘twerking’ while two dancers cleaned her ass with a mexican flag.

This caused a lot of mixed reactions, specially since one of the most popular news anchor commented the issue with (justified) rage, demanding the singer to apologize for her actions.

From my FB status:

No tenia planeado comentar, porque veia muy estupido el asunto, pero viendo la situación creo que es necesario que lo diga: No estoy de acuerdo con el punto de vista de Doña Maria Julia, que cabe mencionar hace un comentario clarisimo sobre la sexualidad de Miley Cyrus de la manera mas prejuiciosa que solo un viejito regio puede permitirse. Sin embargo, vean el caso en contraste con la historia; No es la primera vez que un gringo blanco se burla de nosotros. Alla en ‘su tierra’ deshumanizan, discriminan y, en muchas ocasiones, matan a los latinos/hispanos solo porque tienen la capacidad de hacerlo. Dejar que una blanca rica y privilegiada llegue a nuestro pais y se burle de nosotros denota simpatía hacia el opresor de la forma mas descarada que hay. 
No se trata de si es o no es importante la bandera, se trata de lo que simboliza, hay personas que lo unico que tiene es el orgullo a los simbolos patrios por lo mismo que miles de ogetes malinchistas les quitaron todo lo demas mucho antes de nacer.

Worst of all this was on Mexico’s Independence day. September 16th is Mexico’s day of celebrating the anniversary of their independence.

For those who might not believe that she did this, go watch this video, at 2 min and 20 seconds http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=or0Ty9pLRK4&feature=youtu.be&t=2m20s

This is what she did. This is what she had one of her dancers do.

This is why people do not like us white people from the US and other white western powers: because of how often we are not respectful of others. And basic respect for others is not hard. Not hard at all.

(via stonecoldstevebuscemi)

octoswan:

there’s a comic book store in my town that gives ladies a 10% discount and the people who work there are really friendly so lots of ladies show up to hang out and buy comics and one time i was looking through some new releases and this guy walked in, saw all the ladies, did a double take, and said really loudly and condescendingly, ‘there sure are a lot of girls in here for a comic store!’ and laughed but no one else laughed with him and it was glorious

(via ruinedchildhood)

awwww-cute:

My 8 year old daughter asked to borrow my cell phone and came back with this

TV rotted his brain

awwww-cute:

My 8 year old daughter asked to borrow my cell phone and came back with this

TV rotted his brain

(via mothwizard)

lukewarmcocoa:

man i just wanna unzip niall’s pants and grab hold of his big, huge, thick wallet and pay for my college tuition

(via tall-girlproblems)

backwards-melonbag:

fellowteen:

this is the most beautiful and amazing thing i have ever read in my entire life and it makes me so so happy

i like that they have to specify dead bug collection like, nobody really collects live inverts yaknow? also tho marry me everybody marry me i love chris pratt

backwards-melonbag:

fellowteen:

this is the most beautiful and amazing thing i have ever read in my entire life and it makes me so so happy

i like that they have to specify dead bug collection like, nobody really collects live inverts yaknow? also tho marry me everybody marry me i love chris pratt

(via luffndstuff)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i love the term “bear with me” because it could mean either 1 of 2 things:

  • asking someone to be patient
  • confirmation that the zoo heist was a success

(via tall-girlproblems)

chirravutever:

"son i am disappoint."
this resurfaced on me and I remembered that I wanted lucius to hate scorpius a little bit because scorpius turns out to be not as big a jerk as he could be. 
I may have stolen kate beaton’s fat pony face for bebe scorpi. :)

chirravutever:

"son i am disappoint."

this resurfaced on me and I remembered that I wanted lucius to hate scorpius a little bit because scorpius turns out to be not as big a jerk as he could be

I may have stolen kate beaton’s fat pony face for bebe scorpi. :)

(via luffndstuff)

visionarydame:

beautifulgodzilla:

beautifulgodzilla:

THIS TOOK A FAR DIFFERENT TURN THEN I EXPECTED




We could start with coffee
What a guy XD

visionarydame:

beautifulgodzilla:

beautifulgodzilla:

THIS TOOK A FAR DIFFERENT TURN THEN I EXPECTED

We could start with coffee

What a guy XD

(via ankoku37)

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

writeroffates:

what-the-hells-going-on:

amroyounes:

Lies we tell our kids.  Found this from the postsecret blog.

THEYRE ALL CUTE AND FUNNY UNTIL YOU GET TO THE LAST ONE AND THEN YOU ARE ASSAULTED BY FEELINGS

When I was younger, my older brother had me convinced that I had a twin sister that my parents had thrown out the window because they’d only wanted one more kid. He then convinced me that She haunted my closet. My parents found out about She (not what my brother had told me just that I had an imaginary friend named She in my closet) and thought it was funny and perpetuated it.

I was terrified of my closet until we moved out of that house.

Noooooooooo :(

That is the exact opposite of okay…